A Distraction

What have I done wrong?
What are the things I haven't done?
What are other things that I should have done?
Where did I go wrong?

I should have studied harder
I should have learnt more
I should have read more books
I should have gone out more often
I should have loved my parents more
I should have loved God more
I should have obeyed God's rule more
I should have done things I haven't done
I shouldn't have done things I have done

I'm tired...
I fear to fail... and yet I keep failing again and again
I fear not to achieve...
And I fear to feel fear...

Should I just sit back and relax?
Seeing my life turning upside down and without any ability to
change it all..
Should I just accept all of this?

Those questions and regret keep sounding inside my head. Questions on what should I do in term of facing things that's been going on lately and trigger those regret and guilty feeling. Regret of things I should have done in my life, all my life... *sigh..* I just wish I knew now what I knew then, so I didn't mess up my life too much..

Oh well, it kinda remind me of my conversation with my friend just the other day...
Acceptance is a distraction until you get what you really wanted... And I think it's absolutely true, I am distracted :(