Don’t judge a book by its cover

I never thought the term of “Don’t judge a book by its cover” would match the situation in my real life, until now. I have misjudged someone’s character. I have pictured that those people as a cruel and unfriendly people, but it turns out that they’re a bunch of really nice people. I guess the term of “You wouldn’t love it if you didn’t know it” is true after all. I’ve known them for almost a year; we hardly ever spoke and hanged out together. It was like there was a gap between us. But that night, I saw them like never before. They were really supportive and understanding, trying to compromise to the situation I was facing and making an effort of it. Even though we weren’t friends and they had the choice of being an I-don’t-want-to-know-your-problem kind of person but they didn’t, they choose to listen and trying to fix the problem.

On the other hand, the one I thought was my friend and someone I could trust was being a cold and bossy person after all. The person was the one who has been keeping a gap and a distance of being a friend.

When I think about it further, we have the rights to choose what kind of person we would like to be. We could be the one who mingle, understanding and warm hearted or someone who was an opposite of it. One thing I learn, never judge a person from their appearance or the “mask” they were showing. Take sometime, get to know them and after that you could decide whether to love them or hate them.

Ooops.. I’m trusting people again, it won’t take long to be broken hearted again :(

Intersection

Here I am, standing on the intersection of life. Among two different paths I have to choose, both leads to a different future. One of them is better than the other one. But I can’t see which one is better. Both of them seem to have their own goodness and badness. One of them is more profitable then the other one, but comes with bigger risk and challenge. Not that I don’t like challenge, but it’s just not what I am expected in life. It’s not the kind of life I would like to live in.

I wish there were manual book for these kinds of things, so that I know exactly where to go, which path to choose. But I guess that’s the mystery of life. Actually we have this guidance book of life that is Al-Quran, the answer to all questions in life and after life.

I remembered saying to my best friend. The luckiest man on earth is the one who could listen to the voices inside his heart. Your heart wouldn’t lie. It will lead to a right path. Heart will guide you to Allah SWT. But it has to be a pure heart, the one which always remember of his creator. I guess I am not a saint after all.

Still confused and don’t know which one to choose. I’m sure one of this path leads to Allah SWT’s blessing while the other one leads to a doom of morality. The collapse of faith, the negligence of existence and the birth of pride to power that leads to a greedy human being, which I have been trying to fight against. I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to be blessed. I want to be close... Closer to Allah SWT, there's nothing I want more in life.... Nothing more and nothing less...

The End

Hari ini seperti biasa, gue mendengarkan Hard Rock FM dalam perjalanan ke kantor. Program “I do and I don’t” masih berlangsung, hari terakhir. Sepasang kekasih itu akhirnya mau datang lagi. Ada Andre calon pengantin pria dan Fika calon pengantin perempuan. Seperti yang semua udah tau, mereka berdua sempet berantem. Karena rahasai masa lalu Andre terbongkar. Fika marah. Berhari-hari ga mau ketemu dan angkat telpon Andre & Hard Rock FM. Andre sempet beberapa kali mau ditelpon Hard Rock FM dan mengatakan betapa dia menyesal. Semua orang mengerti perasaannya. Hardrockers bersedih, turut berdoa. Hari ini penyelesaian tiba.

Setelah mengatakan apa yang perlu dikatakan, sambil terisak Andre berkata.

“Fey. Kamu masih mau jadi istri aku?” Andre berkata dengan suara terisak kemudian terdiam, penuh harapan

Fika masih diam. Tidak menjawab. Hanya menghembuskan napas perlahan. Tetap diam.

Dua penyiar Hard Rock dan seluruh HardRockers menunggu dengan salah tingkah. Mereka bingung harus bagaimana. Akhirnya salah satu penyiar memutuskan untuk berbicara, mencairkan suasana. Lalu memutarkan lagu kenangan mereka.

“I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow”

Kemudian penyiar kembali berbicara. Setelah itu giliran Fika mengatakan jawabannya. Ia berkata sebuah kalimat indah. (Sorry kalo salah dikit, gue ga terlau denger pas awal-awalnya)

“Kamu tau waktu Shinta (bukan nama sebenarnya, karena gue ga denger) nabrakin mobil aku. Aku marah banget tapi aku bisa maafin dia.

Waktu Sandra (bukan nama sebenarnya juga) sahabat aku, ngerebut pacar aku. Aku marah banget sama dia, aku sakit hati. Tapi sekarang kita temenan lagi.”

Trus Fika diam. Semua menunggu, deg-degan.

“Aku pikir. Kalo aku aja bisa maafin mereka semua. Kenapa aku ga bisa maafin kamu.

Aku mau jadi istri kamu, Nde…”

Waaah semua lega. Doa seluruh HardRockers dan Andre pun terjawab. Fika memaafkan Andre. Mereka akan menikah Maret nanti. Kemudian lagu indah ini diputar. Mewakili perasaan Andre sih kalo menurut gue.

“I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you
I’ll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold
Need you, feed you, I’ll even let you hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man to grow old with you
I wanna grow old with you”

Saat itu gue ikutan nangis. Terharu. Salut buat Fika. Ia telah melangkah, menjadi manusia baru, lebih bijaksana. Gue langsung mikir, Fika memiliki hati malaikat, mampu memaafkan dan melangkah ke depan. Hati seluas samudra =p. Andre beruntung memiliki Fika. Fika beruntung mendapatkan orang yang mencintainya sebesar Andre mencintainya. Pasangan yang beruntung.

Dan hebatnya Fika.
She doesn’t seek who to fix the blame of the past
She choose to take her responsibilities for the future

Yiippiiiiy =)

The Past

Beberapa hari ini gue dengerin acara di Hard Rock FM. Namanya “I do, I don’t”. Sesuai dengan judulnya, acara ini ditujukan untuk orang-orang yang udah serius pacarannya dan akan menikah. Acara ini mengundang sepasang kekasih yang akan di test selama sebulan kekuatan cintanya. Tentang apa aja, bisa masa datang dan masa lalu. Sampe suatu kali, mantan si cowok ini ditelpon. Ember lah tuh cewek, ngasih tau kalo dulu mereka berdua tuh hampir punya anak. Sedangkan si cewek calon istri ini sama sekali gak tau. Kaget. Shock. Marah. Malu. Gue bisa ngerti banget apa yang dirasain cewek itu, meski ga bisa ngerasain gimana pedihnya dia, tapi gue bisa ngerti kenapa dia marah. Dan gue bisa ngerti juga kenapa cowok itu milih ga bilang. Sayang. Takut kehilangan. Dan dia ingin melupakan masa lalunya yang “gelap”. Cewek itu pergi dari ruangan siaran + kantor Hard Rock FM, cowok itu nyusul.

Tentang masa lalu.

Semua orang pasti punya masa lalu. Entah itu sangat manis sampe susah ngelupain, atau sangat buruk dan saking buruknya juga susah dilupain, dan kalo bisa dia pengen ngapus peristiwa itu dari hidupnya. Dua-duanya punya point yang sama. Masa lalu dan gak mungkin diapus. Kadang gue berpikir, kita jadi seperti ini karena masa lalu. Mungkin sekarang kita bijaksana karena masa lalu kita berantakan. Kita belajar, mengambil hikmah dan kemudian berubah. Sadar atau ga sadar, orang-orang yang paling dekat dengan kita dan kita sayang, terimbas oleh masa lalu dan perubahan kita ini. Beberapa dari mereka mengerti, beberapa memilih untuk pergi. Rasanya kalau dilahirkan kembali, semua orang ingin jalan hidupnya lurus, mulus. Tanpa masa lalu yang pahit dan menyakiti hati. Atau yang terlalu manis hingga susah dilupakan. Sayapun begitu. Kalau bisa memutar waktu, saya ingin menghapus dosa-dosa dan kesalahan-kesalahan saya di masa lalu. Yang mungkin sudah menyakiti hati orang lain dan meninggalkan luka berbekas yang lekang oleh waktu. Marilah kita berhenti berandai-andai. Jadilah orang baru. Yang lebih bijaksana. Belajar dari masa lalu. Berharap cukup pintar dengan tidak mengulanginya di masa datang.

Sedikit kutipan dari perkataan JFK – The former American president.

“Let’s not seek who to fix the blame of the past
Let’s take our responsibilities for the future”

7.38

Jam 7.38

Gue masih di kantor. Banyak kerjaan. Besok deadline. Yang ada di pikiran gue cuma pengen pulang, mandi, nyalain AC, baca sampe ketiduran. Sama denger suara shiro tersayang =p
Huuh.. Buang-buang waktu. Harusnya kerja, malah nulis ginian...

Jam 7.39

Selesai nulis. Balik kerja.