I Think God Can Explain

Ah well, I failed (again). Not that I didn’t work hard or something, but I think that I was too uptight, I should have relaxed a bit, trust Allah SWT for a guidance. Yes, My mistake, completely mine. But it was hard, you know, to let go and reconcile with yourself, to see such a big opportunity just passed you by... But life goes on, and I have to move on...

I have to let go… Or at least I have to learn to let go… I’m all right, I’m ok… I know God have an explanation, a great one…

My Shoe's Story

This creative and remarkable young woman creates a great project called “Cerita Sepatu”. I sent mine a few months ago and it’s finally posted in her project. Thank You Mba Okke for posting my story :)

To be honest, I kind of ashamed after reading my own story, my story was nothing compared to the others… L I guessed I’m not a good writer after all… But anyway, I’m so thankful to Mbak Okke for posting it, I really appreciate it :)

Click here to read my shoe's story!

His Work of Art

Yippiiiy!!! Chandra finally decided to have his own (free) site to put his work of art. It’s interesting. Click here to check it out! Or click the “Chandra’s Work of Art” link on my blog. Enjoy!

Insomnia

I think I had insomnia. I used to sleep at 9.00 PM and woke up at 5.00 AM, but the past two days I couldn’t sleep until the clock reached 00.30AM. I can’t tell what’s happening to me, all I know is that maybe something bothering my mind, so that I couldn’t sleep although my body felt exhausted and my eyes were sleepy. Dealing with this insomnia problem, I was trying to make myself comfortable then I ended up watching sinetrons and a talk show.

I watched “Istri untuk Suamiku”, “Cincin”, “arisan! the series” and “Om Farhan” last night. “Istri untuk Suamiku” and “Cincin” are two of my favorite sinetron, but those two sinetrons has started to make me itch. I think the aim of making a sinetron is not to provide audience with great story that has moral message inside of it, but to make the biggest income out of it. If you notice that most high rated sinetron used the same scenario, the main character was hit by a car and had amnesia! And because the main character had amnesia, the producer had to make the script all over again, make the sinetron’s story longer and hoping it would still have a high rating and (again) reach its highest income. My sister said that there were already 3-5 sinetrons that using this scenario. How exhausting! This scenario is also happening to two of my favorite sinetron, I’m disappointed :(

Anyway, last night was my first time watching “arisan! the series”, I’ve been wanting to watch this series since last week but I haven’t had the chance till last night. It was still interesting, still amusing, and still funny although still full of hedonism ;p No additional comments, I only watch it once ;p And also about “Om Farhan”, I couldn’t say anything, I only watch it once ;p

When the show was over and I finally could sleep it was already 00.44 am and I had to wake up at 5.00 am, so I only sleep for 5 hours or so. One thing I learnt and realized about this insomnia thing is that how great Allah SWT is. Allah SWT controls me, for I didn’t have any control of my self, I can’t even tell my eyes to close and sleep!

“Maha Besar Allah yang menghidupkan dan mematikan semua mahluk…

Maha kuasa Allah atas diriku… Bahkan untuk memejamkan mataku saja, aku tak memiliki kuasa…”

Dreams (Can) Come True

Woouw... It's already Monday again. Time goes by very fast when I wasn't waiting for anything, unlike last week when I felt time goes by very slow because I was waiting for Saturday to come, the BIG day :p That Saturday morning started pretty uptight, I was so tensed and petrified. But I was thinking being so paranoid wouldn’t help and I tried to relax. I prayed a lot and I must say it went quite fine [or at least I hoped it will be fine :p ]… I went through it anyway. And although I had an uptight morning, the night was pretty good. I went to the movie with Chandra, we saw Mission Impossible III at Citos. The movie was great, I was thinking of writing the review later because I felt very lazy to write it now.

One thing that makes me feel quite surprised about that night was that I saw pretty much foreigners there. I met a couple and a family who was also watching the movie in the theater with me and a few teenagers in the lounge room. Before this instance, I was thinking that some foreigners were afraid to go outside and hang out in public places such as malls or else, as we know that we had some security issue nowadays. I hardly ever met them when I was out before. But what I was thinking before was very wrong as I saw them that night enjoying their time, felt secure and fine. For a moment I thought that they might felt they were a part of this country, they felt that they were citizen too. They might have lived here for a long time and perhaps some of them were born here. I didn’t know the exact rule, but if you were born and live in a country, then that country will be your home town, right? You will at least feel that you were part of the country. I would think that way if I were them. Just like my two cousins. I had two cousins who were born and lived in Germany for all their live. And I’m absolutely sure that they felt they were Germany’s and part of the country, they might prefer to live there instead of here although their parents are Indonesian’s J

That moment makes me happy. If they felt secure of hanging out and felt not being a stranger at all, it means that we were succeed of presenting a comfort and secure atmosphere in our country, despite some issues, horrors and terrors that surrounds us lately related to the foreigners. Not to forget tourists in Bali. After the bombing action in late 2005, many tourists still came to Bali. They had no worries in visiting Indonesia despite the bombing action [although I must say that some of them thought of Bali as a an island separated from Indonesia, as if Bali is not part of Indonesia ;P ]

I remembered when I visited my cousin who was studying in Malaysia a couple of years ago. She took me to her school and I saw a multi nation citizens studying there. There were Asians, Australians, Americans and so many others. I think that Malaysia is a hundreds steps ahead of us; they were very open to other citizen to study and live there and they also guaranteed the security of their citizen and non-citizen whom are living in their country; so that they could lived peacefully together, side by side. That day I remembered imagining living in such country, I even imagined that one day Indonesia would grow as Malaysia grows. I imagined that one day we will live altogether in harmony, we would became a country that contains of multi nation citizen living side by side with no fear, no prejudice. And regarding to my experience that night of seeing so many foreigners securely interacts with Indonesian give an optimistic feeling to me, that perhaps my dreams wasn’t just a dream. I believe someday my dreams would come true…

PS: I’ll have the BIG day's result next week; I hope it turns out to be just perfectly fine… Pray for me will you? I hope my dreams would come true :)